Tab 1, 2, 3

750 reči.

Neko je izračunao da je toliko dovoljno za jedan dan.

Sedi i napiši. Otkucaj na omiljenom lap topu. Dok čitaš intrukcije za wannabe pisce s neta, u uglu ekrana će se pojaviti prozorčić za reklamu gde i po kojoj ceni možeš da kupiš baš takav jedan zgodan kompjuterčić koji će ti pomoći da napišeš divnih 750 rečca dnevno.

Fleg sedi za kompjuterom.

Na ekranu je otvoren Word dokument i više desetina tabova na Internetu. Naizmenično ih otvara – lepo dizajnirane, šarene stranice nakrcane rečima, slikama, linkovima. Florescentno bela stranica Word-a nije uprljana ni jednim simbolom.

Znoj joj se sliva od pazuha do unutrašnje strane lakta. Tabani gacaju u znoju i lepe se za plastične papuče. Umesto vrhova prstiju po tastaturi dobuju kapljice znoja. Vrućina.

Tab1: Majka je rodila ćerki troje dece. Majka je želela da podari svojoj bolesnoj ćerki radost roditeljstva. Sada je surogat majka

Nešto slično je u šali ranije i Fleg predložila svojoj majci . „Mama, da li bi to učinila za mene? Ti ipak imaš iskustva, ja sam nekako slaba i ne snalazim se najbolje u tim životnim situacijama.“ Slatko su se tada smejale, Fleg i njena mama.

Tab 2: Žene u četrdesetim, bez stalnog partnera, sve više preko Interneta traže osobu sa kojom će imati dete, bez emotivnih veza

Mršti se Fleg. Poznato je i više puta u društvu ponovljeno njeno mišljenje da deca nastaju iz ljubavi dvoje ljudi. Tog mišljenja se drži više manje od detinjstva, u međuvremenu se jedino odrekla uloge rõda u svetom procesu.

Fleg ima stalnog partnera, voli ga, još uvek nemaju decu.

love understanding family expectations ljubav porodica ocekivanja

Tab 3: Starijim prvorotkama danas se smatraju žene starije od trideset sedam godina, čime je starosna granica značajno pomerena u odnosu na ranije decenije. Kažu stručnjaci

Odahnula je Fleg. Još uvek ima vremena da ne bude starija prvorotka. Možda će stići da se provuče kroz iglene uši u grupu relativno mlađih majki. Zamišlja sebe sa detetom u naručju, nije važno kog pola.

Word dokument: prazan.

Fleg se primiče ekranu i žmirka, kao da je njena dioptrija u obrnutoj srazmeri sa narastajućom ljutnjom.

Udara po tastaturi: Jebem ti 750 reči.

Na engleski jezik je prevedena prva verzija priče, pre seckanja i dorade. Just saying 🙂

750 words.

That is exactly how many words you need for one day, someone calculated.

Sit and write them down. Type them on your favorite laptop. While you are reading those instructions on the Internet, somewhere on the screen a commercial will pop up, telling you where you can buy, and at precisely what price, that kind of handy little thing. The one that can help you write those fabulous 750 little words a day. And only then will you have the right to call yourself a writer, to claim that you write or, at least, to have writing as your passion.

Fleg is in front of the computer.

There is a Word document open on the screen and many tabs on the Internet. She is opening them alternately – well designed, multicolor pages filled with words, pictures and links. The Word document is a different story – fluorescently blank page without a single symbol.

Sweat is running down her armpit all the way to the inner side of her elbow. Her soles are sweating too and they’re sticking to her plastic slippers. Instead of fingertips, sweat drops from her palms are pattering on the keyboard.

Tab 1: A mother has given birth to three children for her daughter. She wanted to bestow the gift of parenthood to her sick daughter. Now, she is a surrogate mother

Fleg suggested something like that to her mother few years ago as a joke: “Mum, would you be so kind to do it instead of me? You have the experience and I am somewhat weak and I can’t manage in those real life situations.” They had a good laugh about that, Fleg and her mother.

Tab 2: Women in their forties without steady partners are turning more and more to the Internet in order to find a person with whom they will get pregnant without any emotional ties, though.

Fleg is frowning on that. Her opinion on that subject is well-known and she has repeated it several times to her circle of friends: children are products of love between two people. She has been sticking to that opinion more or less since her childhood; the only thing she has given up in the meantime is the role of storks in this holy process.

Fleg has a steady partner, she loves him, they still don’t have children.

Tab 3: According to medical experts, women are now not considered to be older first time mothers until they are 37, which has pushed the age limit significantly compared to previous decades

Fleg felt relieved. There’s still time not to be older first time mother. Maybe she will be able to slip her way into the group of relatively young mums. She picture herself with a baby in her arms, it doesn’t matter if it’s a girl or a boy.

Word document: Still blank.

Why should I feel relieved? Why do I always try to bland in so much, even if I know it isn’t possible? And it’s not even required of me. What do I want from myself, what do I wish for myself? Why am I drawing boundaries before setting my goal? I’m making statistics, not the other way around.

Fleg is approaching the screen, as if her dioptre was in disproportion with her growing anger.

Word document: Fuck the 750 words.

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1 Komentar

  1. Teodora 22/03/2019 at 19:36

    Perfektan stil, totalno moderan, totalno filmski, totalno sam unutra.
    Nekako sofisticirano britanski (ne zbog prevoda na engleski) 🙂

    Reply

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